Grace. It’s one of those words we’ve heard all our lives but rarely stop to truly feel. Growing up, grace might have meant saying a prayer before dinner or walking without tripping in high heels. But now, in midlife, grace has taken on a deeper, softer meaning – a lifeline, a way of being that keeps us connected to ourselves and others with compassion rather than criticism.
For me, grace is both a refuge and a practice. It’s learning to be gentle with myself when I fall short of my own expectations. It’s forgiving the woman in the mirror for all the “should haves” and “not yets.” Somewhere along the way, I realized that grace isn’t about perfection – it’s about permission. Permission to be human, to learn, to change, to stumble, and still be worthy of love.
Offering grace to others can be even more transformative. We live in a world quick to judge and slow to understand. Extending grace – to our children who are finding their way – to aging parents who frustrate us, to our friends who don’t always show up as we hoped – creates space for healing.. It’s choosing empathy over ego. When we offer grace, we’re saying, “I see your humanity, and I’m choosing connection over criticism.”
From a midlife perspective, this practice becomes even more sacred. We’ve lived long enough to know that everyone carries unseen burdens. We’ve had our hearts broken, our plans rerouted, our faith tested. Grace reminds us that life is not a straight line but a series of curves – some smooth, some sharp. And through them all, we can choose to respond with patience and kindness rather than judgement, or resentment.
The beautiful paradox of grace is that it blesses both the giver and the receiver. When we extend it, we soften. We let go of bitterness and the need to be right. Our hearts unclench, our minds quiet. Grace gives us peace. And for the receiver, grace can feel like oxygen – an invitation to start again without shame. It says, “You are not defined by this moment; you are loved beyond it.”
In midlife, grace becomes an anchor. It steadies us when the winds of change blow – when our bodies shift, when relationships evolve, when the future seems uncertain. It helps replace self-criticism with self-compassion, comparison with contentment. Grace reminds us that we are not behind, we are becoming.
So how do we live by grace? By practicing it daily. Especially towards ourselves. By choosing to listen more and judge less. By forgiving faster, including our own mistakes. By remembering that everyone, including us, is doing the best they can with the light that they have.
Grace isn’t earned; it’s offered. And when it is given freely – to ourselves and to others – we create a ripple effect of healing and hope. In this time of our life, that’s not just a gift: it’s a legacy.
Cheers…Jackie
